view member journals

wow it worked again...i am impressed..probably because i really didnt write anything at all...nothing that matters but it feels good to just write...I am trying to catch the New York trip on the radio. When i drove back from Red Deer to Sylvan the Jet went and i cant drive and phone at the same time so as soon as i got home i put on the radio and no Jet to New York. Dangles...that would be soo nice you even get a 1000 bucks just to go shopping or whatever, spent it the way you want...you get the flight to New York and Back home and you get to watch some cool shows.....during the day i always miss it because we dont have a radio at work and i always catch it in the truck. Oh well I guess no trip to New York for me, not even a change. I should call the radio and tell them its not fair to us people who work most of the time. I work as an Optician in a Docters office...Good job, lots of fun...great team, and nice docs...who needs that trip to New York....and then you call them and you're caller # 65..unfortunately it had to be caller # 5. I so should give up on New York and just go to the lottery store and buy a lottery ticket...i would have the same chance of winning...None!!.. Although mybrother once won 50.000 guilders and he wasnt even aloud to buy a ticket...His wife said NO..so he sneaked around her back and bought one anyway...she wasnt mad at him and liked the money...i think i still would be a little angry cause i cant stand it when people are not honest to one another....anyway they are divorced now lol...i guess thats life!! you win some you loose one!! And the radio sings"" start spreading the news"". I was ready with phone and all but didnt have the number....so another chance down the drain. Life's hard and so is a rock...they would rock my world by at least winning one time...but then again I dont think I know anyone else then my brother who ever won anything. So give it up Dangles!! New York is just not for you.. I think I pratised enough for one day....time for the other comp and let my thoughts go wild and free..there is nothing better then just to dream along in a mystery murder case haha...till next time...i will be back if you save this one too love Dangles

I

Why is everything so complicated?

Why not anybody but me?

Then again, I wouldn't wish this type of pain on anyone. The feeling that one minute you are okay, then your mind starts to reel and brings back memories and all of a sudden it feels like you just jumped off the highest building in the world and you're about to hit the ground.

What would I be like if none of this had happened to me? Would I be happy? Would I be able to sleep? Would I still wake up every morning wishing I hadn't? Would everything be okay?

Why is it that the people who tell you they are there for you, end up being the first to leave your side? Or at least it feels like it sometimes. I need them to talk to me sometimes about it. When I first told them they said they would be there for me. Now, I need them to prove it. I need to know that I can talk to them about it. I need someone to talk to. About everything.

I feel the pain getting heavier. I don't understand how it does that. Why can't it just all go away? Maybe I'll just have to make it go away, once and for all...

Yeah

alleen thuis vandaag

ontspanning

geen john die me het huis uit wil krijgen, me constant in slecht daglicht plaatst en me aan alle klanten kloot

niet dat je dit leest john

maar ik haat je!

jij mij ook dat weet ik wel

en nog iets

blijf uit mijn kamer en lees mijn gedichten niet meer

die zijn privé!

en jij snapte er toch nix van

en blijf uit mijn dagboek

relax

wel naar bontje morgen

en om bakpapier

ben niet echt nerveus voor architectuur

zal wel in orde komen

lot gaat AO doen

en waarschijnlijk blijven zitten

shit

alleen in de klas

help

anna veranderd van school volgend jaar

daar gaat men filosofiemaatje voor wiskunde

daar gaan bennie, brammie en katrina

jumper, emo en jumpslet met knots uit de oertijd

zal jullie missen

en anna natuurlijk ook

de laatste amusantdenkende (kweetnie of de woord bestaat maar whatever) ziel uit de klas die tegen mij praat

okj

genoeg gezaagd voor vandaag

bye!

xxx

he loves me.. he hasnt arranged his emotions yet... because he fears the obvious. he loves me. i got him great valenties day gifts....

i told him i loved him on feb 7th for the first time in crayons.. at a trendy rest. who insisted on putting butchers paper on the tables.. he enthralled by the kid within asked for crayons.. and it was on...

i wonder what he will come up with for valentines day.. hope it isnt lame.. but even if it was id just smile and thought his lameness was cute. arghh... men...when will they learn.?

ps i gotta blown eardrum too... kinkyness.. and my overly aggresive ass got me jacked up.